Kim was laid to rest on Thursday 23rd March at the Windmills Natural Burial Site, near Ashton, Northamptonshire. The family would like to thank the many, many people that came to pay their respects and say goodbye to Kim and also to everyone that donated to Macmillan Cancer Support, raising nearly £4000. 

Below is a transcript of the service, delivered by Humanist Celebrant Jo Painter, and which is a wonderful tribute to Kim's life. 
 
Kim Fiona Bastin: 31st January 1965 – 13th February 2023   

‘A Celebration of Life’

Opening Song – ‘Heroes’ by David Bowie

Opening Words
A very warm welcome to you all. Thank you for coming here today to celebrate the life of Kim Fiona Bastin; adored Wife to Darren, the best Mum to Holly & Josh.  Kim was something truly amazing to so many, an abundance of energy and everyone who met Kim will never forget how she made them feel.
 
My name is Jo Painter, and I am Founder of The Windmills and a Humanist Celebrant. I was asked by Kim’s family if I would conduct her ‘Celebration of Life’ and lay her to rest in nature surrounded by all the things she loved. We are here to mark the sadness of losing Kim yet taking the opportunity to celebrate the life she lived.
 
Kim was born on 31st January 1965 and died on 13th February aged just 58.  What matters most of all is the dash between those years. For that dash represents all the time she spent alive on earth. And now only those who knew and loved her know what that little dash is worth.
 
I met with Darren, Holly & Debbie recently to learn about Kim, her life journey, personality, interests and much more.  It’s fair to say I could have sat with them for days hearing all about the wonderful life that Kim lived, her character and the memories they all share. Today is all about sharing some of these memories and celebrating her life.
 
We entered to one of Kim’s favourite songs ‘Heroes’ by David Bowie and we will be listening to a few more of Kim’s favourite songs later in the ceremony.  We will have the opportunity for some quiet reflection and for those of you with a faith this will be an opportunity for you to say a quiet prayer if you wish.
 
Thoughts on life & death
The separateness, the uniqueness of each human life is the basis of our grief in bereavement. Look through the whole world and there is no one like the one you have lost. But Kim still lives on in your memories. Death is as natural as birth, they are both terrifying and mysterious. We often find ourselves afraid of dying, but we rarely express our fear of not living a meaningful life or a life that we love. Dying is just the final stop, and the most important thing is the journey itself and what we make of it. No life is ever completely lost, we live on through the influence we have had on the lives of those who remain.
 
For all the comforting philosophies we can offer, the most powerful thing we can give each other in the face of death is companionship and witness. When I’m struggling with the fear of my own death, or with grief over the death of someone I love, what comforts me most isn’t philosophies or ideas. It’s the presence of someone who loves me just sitting with me silently, letting me feel what I have to feel, not trying to fix it or make it go away but simply being with me while I feel it. It’s the presence of someone who loves me, letting me know that I’m not alone — and by their presence, being part of the foundation I can come back to when the feelings pass. 
 
Although no longer a visible part of your lives, Kim will always remain a member of your family or of your circle – through the influence she had on you and the special part she played in your lives.  So let us concentrate today on the love, the laughter and the excitement that she brought to her life and to the lives of those who loved her.
 
Tribute: My Mum - by Holly
First off, I’d like to thank everyone for coming here today. The sheer number of people isn’t surprising but is a reminder of how loved my mum is. I’d also like to thank everyone who’s sent cards or donated money or have wrote beautiful comments on mums Facebook. I was talking to my Aunty Debbie the other day saying it’s funny when you read these messages because something I’ve noticed is no one has told my mum to rest in peace. I think this is really fitting because if you’d ever been around mum for more than a couple of minutes you would have noticed that she didn’t really want to be in peace. She wanted to be off gardening or walking, or she’d be doing something like chasing dad around the house trying to shove an ice cube down his top to disturb his peace. My earliest memories of mum are on weekends and school holidays where I would wake up in the morning and she’d ask us what we wanted to do and then she would find a way for that to happen. Like for example, building a pond in the front garden on a random day in the easter holidays. To anyone that’s heard this story before I do apologise. Mum loved to tell this story of me when I was younger. I don’t remember this so I can’t tell you how much this has been embellished or 'kimbelished' as we like to say. We were shopping in a local supermarket and there was a Mother Day competition where you could nominate your mum as the world’s best mum, or something like that. I apparently got quite excited and nudged mum to ask if I could enter someone. Unfortunately for me I decided the person I wanted to enter was my Aunty Sue. Now she enjoyed hanging this over me. I found it so strange that such a wonderful, confident person could be so offended by something that I said when I was maybe five. I never really took back what I said as I assumed that she knew she was the best mum. She once told me this was something she would take to her grave, so for the record, you were the world's best mum. 

Celebrant   

Kim Fiona Langley was the eldest child of Peter and Helen Langley, and sister to Neil. Kim grew up and went to school in Richmond, London. She attended Shene Academy Secondary School then went to sixth form college where she met her oldest friend Alison. Their friendship dates back to when they were 16/17 where they studied English A-level together. Alison remembers Kim being really sporty and used to run for Richmond Borough inter county Sports.  Her active and energetic vibe continued throughout her life and she loved to walk and be outdoors, stomping across fields and losing herself in nature.
 
Kim enjoyed trying new activities and was always learning new things. She’d quickly get bored in the absence of ‘action’. A natural organiser, she was someone who, as Holly just shared, made things happen. Alison remembers when they were at College, Kim spotting a card in the window of a travel agent for cheap holiday accommodation in Corfu. She organised for 6 friends to head off for a month of fun in the sun. Kim persuaded a local bar that it was her birthday (it wasn’t) and struck gold getting free cocktails all evening.
 
Even as a young woman, Kim had a strong desire to travel and an interest in other cultures and languages. This is something she was fortunate enough to later experienced with Darren as they completed their round the world trip.
 
Alison remembers Kim as impulsive and energetic; always ready to join in with any adventure going, often at short notice. She loved meeting new people, going to new places and facing new experiences. As ever with friendships, life gets in the way, and although Kim and Alison did not see each other for many years ‘the wilderness years’ they affectionately called them, when they met up again, it was as though time had stood still, nothing had changed, and they have talked every day since.
 
After finishing the Sixth-form, Kim went to Kingston University to do an English degree and it was here that she met Darren.  Darren told me that Kim took advantage of him when they first met in Twickers Bar in Twickenham. They rest is history. Darren says, he was always behind Kim in her train of thought. When she wanted to do something, she just did it! She was a ball of positive energy yet at times an ‘attack on his senses’. Yet this is what he loved about her and Darren I know you are going to miss her terribly. You were so different but as the saying goes ‘opposites attract’.
 
Debbie told me Darren’s Uni digs were disgusting so one time when Debbie and Rick went on holiday Kim & Darren house sat. Kim thought it would be a nice gesture to buy them a hamster to say thank you – not quite the thank you gift Debbie wanted!
 
Kim & Darren lived together in various place in Kingston until they finished college in 1986. After college they moved to Northampton, Darren’s hometown, where they lived with Rick and Debbie for a year until they bought their first house in Alexander Rd, near the hospital. They worked in various jobs on their return to Northampton, until the travel bug took hold of them. They had saved enough money to take a year out travelling around the world in 1991 visiting India, Thailand and Australia to name a few and while they were away, they timed their travels to be best man and bridesmaid to Lorraine and Steve at their Bali wedding!
 
On 17th April 1998 Darren and Kim got married in a very small, private wedding ceremony at the Guildhall in Northampton. Holly told me her dad proposed to her mum when they discovered Kim was pregnant with her. Being more the realist than a true romantic, Darren’s proposal was “I guess we better get married now?”. They moved out of town to the village of Nether Heyford, which is still their home today.
 
Village life suited them both, giving Kim the opportunity to be outdoorsy - walking, gardening and enjoying nature. They quickly became part of the ‘Wakefield Way’ community where they have many dear friends, many of you here today. You’ve enjoyed countless dinners, BBQs and street parties!
 
Some mutual friends of Kim & I, Natasha & Gillan, were until a few years ago ‘Wakefield Wayers’. They can’t be with us today but have said,
 
“Kim was truly special, utterly unique! She was the first Wakefield wayer we met on the day we moved (which was a huge deal for us) and she came tearing down our driveway squealing  “ohhh new neighbours”.  She then sent poor Darren round to help us fix our leaky plumbing armed with a bottle of fizz to welcome us… we knew we had chosen the right new home for us right then! She was later then both Ethan and Ambers class teacher!  We are all missing her so much it hurts. The world is truly a duller place without her in it.”
 
Kim really enjoyed village life and over the years embraced the opportunities it gave her.  She loved the countryside with regular, long walks both day and night. She joined a book club, attended weekly art classes and was in her element socialising with her many friends!
 
Life changed for them both when in October 1998 when Holly was born with Josh following three years later in April 2002. Having a family spurred Darren to retrain as a plumber and a few years later, Kim also took the plunge to change career and focus on her family. In 2005 she become a teaching assistant at Bliss Charity School in the village.
 
Family time was always important to Kim and Darren, and over the years they enjoyed going on long family walks, playing table tennis in the garden, and working on the allotment. They holidayed in Cornwall with the other Bastin’s and had many trips to the South of France with Sue, Martin, Charlotte and Olivia.  Holly recalls the time they were on holiday and woke early. Josh, Holly & Kim slid out whilst everyone else was still sleeping and went on an exploration. They returned 3 hours later to everyone in a panic wondering what the hell had happened to them.
 
It was working in school alongside Teacher Avina Marston, that Kim realised she wanted to become a Teacher. Avina said:
 
“From the very first time I met Kim when she came to work with me in class 3 about 17 years ago, I knew she was something special. Positivity and brightness literally oozed out of her and she was a natural in the classroom. Watching Kim work with students was an absolute joy. She had unending patience, optimism and the readiest of smiles and laughs. We worked together for years, and we too built an unbreakable bond; we'd finish each other's sentences, learnt to read each other's mind’s and had a shared hatred of poor grammar. Becoming a teacher was a natural step for Kim, if it wasn't for all the red tape she could/would have been one years ago. I remember watching her teach a class for a university observation - absolutely outstanding. She had the class eating out of her hands, the uni lecturer too; I remember thinking then that any child that gets taught by Kim will have a very special experience. Kim's artwork and displays were always ambitious and flamboyant and real attention grabbers. She'd often send me photos of things that she had created or displayed and she inspired me. In the time we worked together, we did about eight residentials together to Norfolk - in February. Those weeks were long, cold and fraught, and I don't think I could have got through them without her. She would do every single activity, from caving to climbing - jumping off poles to lazer-quest and she had the patience of a saint with the students. She made those weeks so much brighter for everyone, me included. She made life so much brighter for everyone.  
I can’t begin to explain how much I miss Kim.”
 
Kim embarked on the long, hard road to train whilst still working as a Teaching Assistant. This is even more impressive when you consider that Kim had just recovered from her first brush with cancer in 2008. In true Kim style she emerged positive and determined to achieve her dreams. Giving 100% effort and energy, in 2015 Kim achieved a First Class Honours Degree in Education and started work as a qualified Teacher. Kim was largely responsible for the ‘Outdoor Classroom’ at Nether Heyford Primary School and a plaque was poisoned in the school garden with ‘Kim’s Garden’ on it. She was ecstatic about this. Kim went on to teach year 5 & 6 until she became ill in 2021. This meant her having to leave but her legacy there continues and a Memorial Service is to take place in her honour.
 
The sympathy cards to Darren, Holly and Josh, along with the tributes and donations on Kim’s memorial website show just how highly regarded she was as a teacher and the positive impact she had on children’s lives. During her time at Bliss School, Kim injected her love of travel through her involvement with the Erasmus Project. This was a European Education Programme created to give children different cultural experiences and it was during these trips that Kim became close friends with Emilia Quaranta who has shared these memories:
 
“Kim’s passion for opening up children ‘s minds to the world was unmeasurable! She believed in giving children the experiences that would help them understand others and their place in the world.
 
Over many years Kim, took children to Romania, Sweden, Bulgaria to name a few. These very exciting trips full of laughter gave children memories they would never forget – and it was clear how proud and happy this made Kim.”
 
Emilia remembers how Kim was always motivating the children to have a go and to try new things - until of course they beat her at football or dodgeball! Or when she tried to trick them in a pottery class, that she was responsible for creating a beautiful masterpiece which was in fact the work of the Bulgarian potter!
 
“Kim’s energy was infectious and inspiring for all the children whose lives have been enriched by the discovery of a world outside Nether Heyford.  The impact of her European work is also visible in schools abroad when still to this day many children recall the very funny, happy and cheeky Mrs Bastin who would come up with a travel quiz to keep everyone motivated on a long drive from the airport to the partner schools in Europe.
 
Kim was a brilliant teacher, she loved her job and will be remembered for putting the children first, encouraging them to be themselves, to not be afraid of having a voice, and to care for others and the environment.”
 
 
Another of Kim’s friends & work colleagues Jade has asked me to share this with you all:
 
“Working with Kim meant it never felt like work and no two days were ever the same. From dressing up as Victorian teachers, Mary Poppins and Bert and the witches from Macbeth, spending an entire weekend turning a giant cardboard box into a space rocket complete with fairy lights and inflatable planets, to producing The Greatest Showman stomp extravaganza. There was never a dull moment in Mrs Bastin’s class and the children (and I!) were so lucky to have her as their teacher.
 
After work, we filled our time with spa trips, afternoon teas, theatre trips, walks and copious amounts of wine. Every day was filled with fun, adventure and lots of laughter.  She inspired everyone to live life a little fuller.  She inspired me to become a teacher. I hope I do her proud.”
 
Kim loved the arts, particularly reading, going to the theatre and the cinema. She was very creative and a talented artist and her many paintings adorn their Heyford home and some of Holly’s favourites are here today. She loved to party and was the ‘life & soul’ always spurring others on to have fun and dance. She loved live music and went to many festivals determined to have fun and never fazed by being cold, wet and dirty! Darren tells me they went to Glastonbury a few time ‘pre-children’.
 
Kim loved to travel, visit new places and meet new people. And she was never happier than when she was beside the sea and in the sun!
 
Kim inspired love and devotion in her friends, friends who were there for her through the good times and bad. There’s too many to mention but Simone who one of them who was brave enough to tell her off when she needed it and was with her at the end.
 
As the many tributes to Kim show, she will be remembered for her passion, her energy, her vitality, her sense of fun and adventure.
 
Kim, you were the life and soul of the party
You lit up every room and your joy for life was infectious
You were an amazing fireball of energy fun and generosity
You brought vibrancy, life and laughter in to every room
A beautiful force of nature, one of a kind
A truly unique and special person.
 
Kim’s social media was always popping up with positive affirmations and inspirational quotes. A recent quote summed up what Kim was all about was:
 
“The most beautiful things in life are not things. They are people and places and memories and pictures. They are feelings and moments and smiles and laughter.”
 
Unfortunately, the next part of Kim’s life won’t be written. We all know how her story ends. Death is almost always too soon and in Kim’s case particularly so. Kim was one of life’s gems and her energising spirit, determination and bravery throughout is an inspiration to us all.
 
Tribute and Poem - Debbie 
 
To prepare for today, I read through the cards sent to Darren, Holly and Josh, through all the messages on Kim’s Facebook page, and the tributes on the Much-loved memorial site. And amongst the kind words, the memories, the expressions of loss, one clear theme rings through – and that’s how everyone that knew Kim was touched by her life-force! To know Kim, to be with Kim, to love Kim, was to experience her energy, her passion and her determination to live life to the full and embrace every opportunity before her – and she did this until pretty much the end of her life.

When you look through Kim’s Facebook posts you see how important it was to her to stay positive and to find something good in everyday - even the bad days! She was brave and optimistic and determined not feel sorry for herself. We were late for her last oncology appointment because she wouldn’t leave the house until she’d put on a full face of make-up. Such was her determination to meet the day looking her best and full of confidence! This boundless, relentless, amazing positivity is how I will always think of her.

Holly has chosen the poem Time by Rupi Kaur – because like the many quotes and sayings that Kim loved, it reflects her passion for life.
 
Time by Rupi Kaur
rise
said the moon
and the new day came
the show must go on said the sun
life does not stop for anybody
it drags you by the legs
whether you want to move forward or not
that is the gift
life will force you to forget how you long for them
your skin will shed till there is not
a single part of you left they’ve touched
your eyes finally just your eyes
not the eyes which held them
you will make it to the end
of what is only the beginning
go on
open the door to the rest of it
 
Quiet Reflection
Let us take a few moments to reflect on some of your happy memories of Kim and the times you shared while we listen to ‘Nothing Compares to You’ by Sinead O’Connor.
 
May I take this opportunity to thank you for coming here today to join in celebrating Kim’s life. I hope you have all gained some comfort from being here together to remember and embrace Kim’s laughter, humour, positive and infectious energy. Take away with you your own memories of Kim and her place in your lives, and in keeping one another in your lives, you will be paying her the greatest tribute of all.
 
A Memorial Tree which will be planted in the Autumn and as the seasons change so will the tree in which Kim will become part of.
You are invited to Simone and Peter’s at 18 Wakefield Way, Nether Heyford details are on the order of service. Here you can continue sharing stories and memories and raise a glass in memory of Kim. There is no need to part of here quickly, feel free to stay on a while if you wish to say your own farewells once Kim’s family have had time to say their final goodbyes.
 
Now it’s time that sadly, you leave us
We grieve but also, we smile.
We give thanks that our lives were connected,
And you’ll be tucked in our hearts for a while.
 
Kim’s family will now follow me down to the graveside for the final part of Kim’s ceremony.
 
Song - ‘The Whole of The Moon’ by The Waterboys
 
Committal
So together, we have been remembering the wonderful life of Kim, the cornerstones of your family, the center of your universe.
 
We have now reached the part of the ceremony where we say “Goodbye” to her body and commit her to her final resting place. In time, Kim will become a part of here, and in this way, she will continue to play her part in the cycle of life & nature.
 
Through the warmth of the summer
And the cold of the winter
Through the freshness of spring
And the mists of autumn
she will be at peace.
 
So, as we lay her, surrounded by all this life, we know she is now safe, beyond fear, beyond harm, beyond any further pain. It is hard to believe right now, but the happiness that she brought you in her life will remain with you longer than your sadness at her death. 
 
“We want to thank you for sharing your life with us Kim.
We rejoice that you lived and treasure that we walked through life with you.
We cherish the memories of the things you said and did,
But most of all your love for us.
So now with our love, we leave you in peace”.
 
Where you left me – Donna Ashworth
Don’t expect me to be where you left me
I can’t promise to wait for your there
I may not see the flowers you gave me
Or the tears that will fall as you stare
 
I will be with the winds on the coastlines
Embracing the mountains of snow
I'll be dancing around on the hillsides
Lighting the fires that glow
 
Ill be flying with geese for the winter
And welcoming lambs as they’re born
Ill be singing with choirs in the theatre
Free roaming without any form
 
Don’t expect me to lie where you laid me
There is so much that I wish to do
But I promise with all my heart
That the first place Ill visit is you.
 
 
Final Song – ‘All These Things I have Done’ by The Killers